When I tell you to calm down,

Image credits: http://www.ladyspeak.com/
Image credits: http://www.ladyspeak.com/

I mean well for you.

Was talking to a friend about this whole issue of how it is not good to tell people to calm down because it shows that you are not listening etc blah blah blah, as many articles recently have pointed out. Such as this.

Let me quote from that article:

“People are allowed to feel. It is how we are designed. It separates us from robots, remember? The nature of the phrase “calm down” means to quiet someone, to halt any display of emotions. I cannot speak for all of us, but when I think about the times this has been said to me, I don’t remember causing harm to anyone. I was simply angry or sad or excited by something, and expressing it. Why was it so important for me to stop doing that?”

Because when you’re not calm you cannot think properly.

Granted, people want to release their emotions from time to time. Yes, emotions can be something all of us cannot control when it heats us up. But, instead of requesting for people to comfort you in a specific way, why shouldn’t we be the change ourselves and try to think in a more positive light – to understand when someone tells you to calm down, it is for your own good because being at an emotional state will not help your frustration in any way?

So by telling everyone to stop telling you to calm down, you’re essentially saying “when I’m agitated I’m the boss and you all should just listen to me”? Couldn’t you take a more objective approach and try to improve your emotional intelligence, and try to understand that people mean well when they tell you to calm down?

Disclaimer: I am in no way attacking any authors, in fact I agree wholeheartedly with all their opinions, and I think it is very important to know when to and when not to say the appropriate phrases. I am just presenting a different perspective that I think could be food for thought.